The Kindle vs. The Onion

The Onion - Amazon announced Kindle Flare

It’s finally happened. Amazon’s Kindle has become the target of a fake video news report from The Onion! “This week Amazon unveiled The Kindle Flare — the latest model of their popular e-reader,” reports a (fake) newscaster from the Onion News Network.

“The improved device has the ability to loudly and repeatedly announce the title of the book you’re reading so everyone knows how smart you are…”

You can watch the whole video on the Onion’s web site. (For a shortcut, just point your browser to — or watch the embedded version… )

New Kindle Helps Readers Show Off By Shouting Title Of Book Loudly And Repeatedly

I especially liked how their story begins with a flashy “Tech Trends” logo — making it seem like a real news story. And they’ve even fabricated a supposed commercial which will advertise the new Amazon device.

“The all new kindle flare — louder than a book cover…”

Like most Onion stories, it’s their straight-faced delivery of the “Kindle Flare” story which makes their parody so funny — including all of its realistic little details. (“Custom Dolby Audio Shouting…”) Their report even lists out some of the supposed advantages of the new Amazon Kindle Flare.

  • Speaker audible to everyone within 30 feet
  • Shield mode shouts ‘Faulkner’ when you play Candy Crush
  • 8-week battery life for long-lasting gloating
  • 15 different confident tones of voice
  • Pronounces French books with a French accent

What makes this even more interesting is you really can subscribe to The Onion on your Kindle. Every week they’ll deliver the newest edition straight to your Kindle — whether it’s a reader, a tablet, or even a Kindle app. And the subscription also includes free delivery of the “AV Club” — another Onion publication which explores “the best and worst of film, television, music, books and games.”

For a shortcut, point your browser to

Interestingly, The Onion has already become Amazon’s #7 best-selling newspaper for the United States. (No joke!) The New York Times is #1, with The Wall Street Journal close behind, and then The Washington Post, USA Today, The Financial Times, and The San Francisco Chronicle. But #7 is “America’s Finest News Source” — The Onion.

As with all satire, there’s a grain of truth in The Onion’s “Kindle Flare” story. The Onion also reports that Apple has released a new version of the iPad — which whispers, over and over again, “I have an iPad.” And The Onion even imagined one more headline for one of Amazon’s competitors.

“Barnes and Noble’s Nook Now Breathlessly Thanks Owners for Buying a Nook…”

The Onion - fake Amazon Kindle Flare ad

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